Alphabet Parenting: M is for Mother
9/14/2021 | Dr. Tamar Andrews
moth·er | \ ˈmə-t͟hər
Easy enough, but not really. The dictionary defines mother as a noun, an adjective, and a verb...easy to see how meaingful this word can be. As a verb, it can be best defined as “to raise with care and affection.”
Being a preschool director and fellow mother, I find that all too often mothers feel tethered more of the time to the role of manager instead of mother. The definition of a manager is a person who is responsible for controlling or administering all or part of a company (let's translate that to family).
Take a deep breath and relinquish control or administration of one thing each day until you have more days where you feel you are being a mother rather than a manager. Enjoy each day. Stop trying to control everything each member of your family does. A manager in my office once came in lamenting that she could not leave her children overnight with her husband because he would not watch the children appropriately.
A father is just as responsible for the love and care of a child as a mother is albeit he may do it differently. If you are in a relationship with someone of the same gender, you may feel that you do it better than your spouse. Let go. Relinquish some of the control. It may not be exactly what you wanted it to be but you have to allow yourself time to both mother and be mothered. You have to allow time for yourself so that when you are with your family, you are both getting and receiving care and affection and not worrying so much about getting to Gymboree on time.
A mother is still themselves, with or without the context of their children. Doing what you can to ensure that you know who you are as a person will drive even more success as a parent.